Monday's with Mommy

She's left me here. "I'm sorry I can't be there until 6". It's freakin a quarter to five right now. I'd call for a different ride but my phone is dead and i can't find a pay phone. I so badly want to cry because she said this time would work. I'm just here. But God forbid I come first, it's all about Javaf and his fucking five year old muscles. He just sits there broken, frail and useless. I don't need him, I'm better off alone. Back when I was an only child things were okay. I'm standing up to her and telling her I"m sick of her. I hope she smacks me so I can call for rescue. I don't think she understands I've got nothing to do now but cry and be horridly sick. What would I have to do to get to her? The second she lays a hand on my I"m out of this house. But who would I call? Louis, Anna, Louie? They'd be the three on my list. Probably first of third, just because I'd want my knight in shining armor. I'd just want to see her go down. I couldn't call children's services. She's hit me before and I didn't do a thing. A smack in a target, a throw in the apartment. I'm almost afraid to yell at her, but I'm so irritated that she doesn't get it. Why doesn't she just call my dad, or Adam? Have them come get me. Doesn't that makes more sense? But no she has me sit here for an hour waiting for a dumb bitch to come pick me up. She married a man just as dumb and tempermental. Maybe she should hit him. You see, I'm alone in this world, just you, me and my musiv. I quit listening to music ya know. It's just so depressing, I can't take it. I hope he decides to go to this concert. I don't think he understands how important it is to me. I dont know how to tell him how much this concert means to me.

Have you ever wanted to change your appearance and name and start all over hoping it works? That's al i want at this percise moment in time.